Usefulness

This week a friend of mine messaged me, letting me know she would be in town in November. The end of her message said, “…I just really want to see you; you’ve been through so much.”  It was funny because my first thought was, what is she talking about? It was then I realized I’d turned the corner on coming to grips with the stroke, and it’s no longer at the forefront of my mind.

Now, I must start figuring out what to do with my life. 

I attended an orientation for a non-profit to help kids deal with losing a sibling or parent. I am looking forward to starting. It is a step in the right direction—a minor step to having a path to feeling useful again. 

Do not get me wrong, crazy things still happen. For example, yesterday, I was doing some yoga and knew something was not right. I looked down to check my form, the towel I was supposed to be used to support my left knee in a forward lounge was on the right side, and my bent knee foot had it firmly in place!

Last night at a Braves game, we were leaving, and there were about six steps I had to go up. Unfortunately, I was to the left of the rail and could not see it. I did not realize the railing had space every few steps. I nearly toppled over when I got to the end of the first rail. It shook me up a bit, and my knee got jammed, but I learned I must be on the side of the railing going forward. 

Because I have turned the corner on the acceptance part of the stroke recovery process does not mean the lessons are not going to continue. What it means is that I can get on with my life, whatever that will be. 

Not knowing what my abilities are is the hardest part. One thing I know I can do is listen to the kids I’ll be working with at the non-profit. It is scary not having a handle on what I can do; the only way I’ll find out is by doing.