Jogging

Today it hit me.  I’m struggling to move on from the stroke, if I move on that means I’ve accepted my life has irreparably changed.  There is no going back to my pre-stroke life. 

I continue to wait for the day when I’ll get off the fence and realize, my sight is not coming back.  I can no longer drive.  I can no longer work in my field.  No speeding down the road with the music as loud as I want it, singing at the top of my lungs, even though I can’t sing.  There’s no going back.  I need to stop using my pre-stroke life as a measure of my rehabilitation. 

I’m not there yet.

I have a plan working in my head to start moving on, to start making my new life.  But I’ve yet to implement it. I did take one step today, which was to look up the meeting schedule for the AA club that’s not too far from my house. I looked it up.

Baby steps.