Energy

A long time ago a doctor told me the difference between religion and spirituality was religion was for people who feared hell and spirituality is for people who’ve been there. I’m not sure this is especially true, but it gave me an opening to explore.

I’m not a religious person, I’m a very spiritual person, I don’t necessarily believe in God in the bible, but I do believe in a power greater than myself and that power is energy within me and it’s within all of us, to move forward, to heal, to get to the next step.

I’m grateful for this relationship I have with my higher power who I choose to call God. God has seen me through many adverse situations, many health crises and he’s let me down a couple of times, or what I think of like a letdown.  Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be a letdown perhaps it was yet another lesson. Not necessarily a punishment, but perhaps, just for me to see, I’ll be OK.

Recently I’ve been discussing God with an atheist. I feel bad when I know somebody doesn’t have a connection to a higher power, I don’t want to convert them, God knows we all have our own journey.

I discuss my spirituality openly, my relationship with God openly because it’s in the forefront of my mind quite often.  Fifteen years ago, I was very sick, very ill, nearly died.  At one point I lost my connection with my higher power, that God of my understanding. It was interesting because there was an atheist at my bedside, and when I said to her, I couldn’t feel God, she said, “you can use my God.”  She denied saying that for about ten years, but then she remembered.  I’ll never forget the grace and love she showed that day.

I’ll get through whatever circumstances come my way, with or without God.  This has been proven again and again, though it is easier with God.  I know, for me, everything happens for a reason.  And this stroke has really thrown my life into chaos, some days I can’t move like gravity is pushing me down.  For me, I need to be willing to accept, or willing to be willing to accept my life today.  Perhaps this happened so I might help others, perhaps it happened for me to gain a deeper understanding of empathy?  I don’t know.  What I do know is, today, I am blessed.